You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
