then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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