I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she pinky promised me she was 18
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
