hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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