I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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