No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
