You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
