Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
