What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
