There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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