ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
