i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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