I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
