Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize