Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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