i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
