im drinking this country out of the recession.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
