i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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