I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
