you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
