If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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