rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm bleeding and have questions
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
