The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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