chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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