Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
