Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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