Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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