If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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