Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize