what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
