It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
