Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So vagazzling was a success
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
