Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So much rum. So many feels.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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