In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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