She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
