When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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