It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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