You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
