ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
only if we run a train.
done.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize