we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize