When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
