i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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