theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
