why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I deserve this hangover.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
