They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
