No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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