Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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