true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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