Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
