I think I died a long time ago.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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