Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
