Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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