you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
