Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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