I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
