I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
