the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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