making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
