Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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