Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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