That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
vagina is talking i cant
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize