Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
