i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
