I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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