Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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