So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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